Response to "Strong Single Women Advice?"

 “Strong Single Women: If people tell you that guys are intimidated by you, don’t mind them. Cuz, you are not going to marry that kind of man, else you will crush him and emasculate him. The man you will marry won’t be intimidated by you, but love your strength, because he will also be strong and secure in himself and God.”

     Lori begins her latest blog with this text from a meme she found. She proceeds to share the reason she believes it's bad advice (through responses from women in her chat room). 

Heather replied, “A woman who ‘crushes and emasculates’ any man for any reason is not a strong woman."

     One comment demonstrates the extreme nature of the complementarian position. They assume that there is either total subservience, or dominating and crushing; no middle ground. Also, they assume that either the husband will dominate the wife, or else the wife will dominate the husband; there is no concept of a relationship in which both are strong and yet neither "crushes" the other. 

     Why, we must ask, must being a "strong woman" imply crushing or emasculating? I would certainly describe my wife as strong, but this is a positive description. I can't help but feel that secure men will be more attracted to strength rather than weakness. 

     Another comment says this: 

Meredith wrote, “Exactly. If a ‘strong’ woman is crushing and emasculating her husband, she is not strong but rather rebellious."

Lori seems to be saying that the kind of woman who intimidates a man (or at least thinks she does) is a bad, rebellious woman. But, in my opinion, if a woman were intimidating to a man, it says more about the nature of the man than about the woman. The truth is that there are men who do not feel masculine unless they have subordinates; to have an equal partner is unacceptable to them. This is a weak and childish sort of man, and certainly not Christ-like at all. A strong, Christ-like man considers others more important than himself (Philippians 2:3) and never tries to be greater or in authority over others (Matthew 20:25-28). But there certainly are men who insist that their wives not "compete" with them, but support them, with no concept of supporting their wives in return. It's all about them, and their wives are their assistants (for evidence of this, we need look no further than the Facebook comment section on this particular blog!). 

     Real strength does not depend on its position relative to others in order to feel strong. A man worth marrying will never try to dominate his wife or insist that she fade to the background in order to help him feel like the center of everything. And a marriage in which each partner treats the other as an equal and with respect will be much healthier than whatever Lori has in mind. 


Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/strong-single-women-advice/