Response to "Why are so Many Women Not Getting Married?"

     In this blog, Lori laments the fact that fewer women are getting married than in the past. She begins with this paragraph full of claims without any backing evidence:

"Marriage is becoming less and less popular. Many women are grieving the fact that they never married in their 20s, because they put it off for higher education and careers. They thought they would get married in their 30s and begin having children, but it's not happening. In pondering this, I am coming to som conclusions of my own why this is happening."  

"Many" women are "grieving" the act that they didn't marry earlier? According to who? Is Lori suggesting that it's always best to marry as early as possible? (this is a rhetorical question...I know this is exactly what she's suggesting). In my own experience, marriage is wonderful, but it's not something into which someone should rush. There are many freedoms one has prior to marriage that should be taken advantage of. No one should marry until they're ready. 

     She also seems to imply that for women who wanted to get married in their 30s, "it's not happening." Again, where does she get this idea? I know numerous people who have gotten married in their 30s or older. She is trying to scare young women into marrying the first creature with an X chromosome and a Y chromosome who proposes to her, to make sure they don't end up alone. Lori's unspoken (but quite obvious) point is that women in their 30s apparently are "getting old" and no longer attractive. 

     And, amusingly, she notes that she has come to her own conclusions on why this is happening,  based on nothing but her own pondering. No surprise there. 

     Next, she tells us about her own college experience: 

My college friends and I weren't career-oriented. We all wanted to just get married and have children. We weren't hard-core feminists AT ALL! We enjoyed talking with guys and were all still very feminine. We had no desire to be competitive with the guys or be like them! We liked being feminine and enjoyed being in the company of guys. 

We spent a lot of our free time with guys, just hanging out with them and getting to know them. None of us were book worms and cared all that much about our grades. We cared a whole lot more about getting our Mrs. degree rather than a real degree."

There are a few things to note here. First, she admits that she did not have any learning in mind when she went to college, but was merely looking for a husband. She even points out that she and her friends were not bookworms and didn't care about their grades. The shocking point is that she portrays this as a positive thing! I've heard people talk about how they goofed off in college and didn't care about their grades, but it's always to point out that since then they have matured and realized how such behavior is wasteful of a good opportunity. But Lori implies she did nothing but sit around and flirt with the guys, and that this was a good thing! 

     Furthermore, notice how she uses the word "femininity" without clearly defining what she means. She will do this throughout the rest of the blog. Here, it certainly seems that she equates "femininity" with avoiding a good education, not caring about academic performance, not being competitive, and being obsessed with boys. 

     She follows this with a key insight into another reason why she fears women going to college so much: 

No, it's compete with the guys for the grades, the colleges, and then the jobs. This is NOT conducive for men wanting to marry women.

I believe this highly competitive and feministic culture has made men less and less attracted to women. They see that women no longer need them and I am not sure they enjoy having the competition that they have with women these days. I still think that men want feminine women! They want women who aren't in competition with them. They need and want to marry help meets, not competitors."

Besides the fact that Lori feels all women should do nothing but be wives, mothers, and servants (and of course college has nothing to do with any of that), it seems Lori's major concern once again revolves around the men! She is afraid men will not be attracted to women who go to college. We must again wonder what qualifies Lori to speak for all men. But, setting this point aside, apparently to men the ideal woman is one who is markedly his inferior intellectually, educationally, and competitively. Again, she slips in the word "feminine," apparently using it to mean uneducated, simple-minded, and unambitious. I'd like to know where she gets these hinted definitions from. 

     As a man, let me speak for men for a moment: any man who is intimidated by a bold, motivated, educated, intellectual woman is not a real man. He is nothing more than a wimp with such a fragile ego that he must insist that the women in his life intentionally dumb themselves down so he can maintain an illusion of superiority. It seems Lori doesn't only have a low view of women; what a sad, cynical impression of men! 

     Ladies, never settle for anything less than a man who admires and appreciates you for your intelligence and ambition, and who, instead of trying to hold you back to protect his own pride, are excited for you to reach your full potential and use all of your gifts!


Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/why-are-so-many-women-not-getting-married/