Response to "Stop Causing Division Over the Non Essentials of Child Raising"

     This may be the strangest post from Lori I've ever read. 

     Lori begins by reminding us that different parents will do things differently. Some will give birth in a hospital, some will give birth at home. Some will let them date young, others will forbid dating until they're 18. Some will put them in the nursery during church, others will keep them in the service. Some will forbid them from dating until their 18, others will allow them to date earlier. And so on.

     Lori then shocks those of us who have been following her for any length of time by saying, essentially, "so what?" 

"Why am I telling you all of these things? I want you all to know that none of these things have anything to do with the salvation of their souls. We must not allow our differences in the way we raise our children to divide us as believers in Jesus Christ! There is too much pressure on mothers today. We are to raise godly offspring in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. This is what God cares about. He doesn't give us the exact methods how to do this and this is where we have liberty. It should never cause division!"

Did someone hack Lori's blog? She seems to be saying that different people will make different choices, and we shouldn't criticize them for it! As she goes on, I began to suspect I was dreaming, as she said more and more things that actually didn't sound crazy to me. It seems more and more that parents are quick to judge and criticize other parents. I had to agree with a lot of what she said. Even though I recognized this doesn't in any way nullify the harm of her other posts, at least, for once, I thought I had found a post that wasn't filled with terrible ideas and judgment.

And then, abruptly, came a reminder that this was, in fact, still the real world. I wasn't dreaming after all. She had spoiled the blog by slipping in a subtle point about the authority of husbands:

"They have every right to raise their children the way they feel is best for them. If a husband wants his children vaccinated, vaccinate them and pray that the vaccinations won't harm them. God cares a whole lot more about wives submitting to their husbands rather than if the children are vaccinated."

Now, this is not about the vaccine debate. Lori shares a lot of misleading and false information regarding vaccines, but I won't get into that here. For now, my concern is that she herself (as she states in the blog) is opposed to vaccines and feels that they are harmful. Regardless of whether it's true, this is her strong conviction. And yet, she advises that if the father decides he wants his children vaccinated, rather than protesting, the mother ought to simply give in and pray that the children won't be harmed. 

     This may be harsh, but seriously, what kind of parent would silently step aside and allow something to be done to their children that they honestly thought was harmful, all for the sake of "submission?!" According to Lori, the point of submission is to have a happier marriage and avoid conflict with your husbands. So, essentially, she is suggesting risking the health and safety of your children for the sake of maintaining peace with your husband, putting your relationship with your husband above the safety of your kids. 

     Not only is this nonsensical and has no biblical support whatsoever, it is dangerous advice. Again, I don't believe there is any danger in this specific situation because I believe she's wrong about vaccines, but that is not the issue. The problem is the idea that wives should go along with whatever their husbands want even if they strongly believe the husband may be putting the children in danger. Where is the limit? What if he wants his kids to not wear seatbelts in the car? What if he wants them to eat nothing but fast food every day? What if decides it's okay for them to play video games for 12 hours a day? According to Lori, instead of simply pointing out the problem, she should instead keep it to herself and merely pray that God will supernaturally nullify the potential harm.

     Of course, the obvious fact is that parents ought to make healthcare (and all other) decisions for their children together, and neither has the right to make such decisions on their own. When one parent may miss something or be uninformed, the other can provide important input. This is a safeguard against at least some bad decisions. They work best as a team, not with one as an arbitrary leader and the other as the silent follower who merely nods like a robot and won't even warn of danger.


Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/stop-causing-division-over-the-non-essentials-of-child-raising/