Response to "How Do Wives Win Husbands With Who Are Believers?"

     The key Bible verse in this post is 1 Peter 3:1-2: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Lori begins with her argument that this verse applies not only to unbelieving husbands, but also to Christian husbands: 

"Are these verses only for women who are married to unbelievers? Many believe this to be so, but I do not. Even Christian men can disobey the Word of God! The Apostle Paul could have easily written, '...that, if any are unbelievers...' since this word is used other places in the Bible."

Before we hastily accept Lori's analysis, let's consider the verse in context. In the previous chapter, verses 7-8 say the following: 

"So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe,

“The stone that the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone,”[a]

 and

“A stone of stumbling,
    and a rock of offense.”


They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do."

Chapter 3 must be understood in light of what was said before it, and these verses clearly use the phrase "disobey the word" to refer to unbelievers. Additionally, in 2:13-15, Peter instructs all believers to be subject to every human institution and government authority, "that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people." Again, the idea behind this is that Christians should do their best to obey the law and live as responsible citizens so that unbelievers will be unable to find fault with them. In this way, those who rejected the Gospel would be rejecting the Gospel itself, instead of those preaching it, and therefore would be without excuse. So it seems clear that Lori's attempt to apply the original verse to believing husbands fails.

     More disturbing, however, is a point she makes later: 

"If your believing husband is doing something that you know to be sin, of course, you can make a humble and kind plea to him, but then you need to give it to the Lord as you live in subjection to your husband with godly behavior." 

There is disagreement among complementarians on this point. Some say a wife is not obligated to obey her husband if he commands her to sin, while others are uncomfortable with the thought of wives having the right to judge their husbands' commands in order to determine whether they would involve sin. Those in the latter category hold the outrageous opinion that wives ought to obey even if their husbands command them to sin. They suggest the husband ultimately is responsible for her behavior, so God will not find fault with her if she is obedient; His displeasure will be directed entirely to the husband. 

     It's not entirely clear, but it seems from the above quote that Lori holds the latter opinion. Her suggestion that wives "give it to the Lord" and continue to be in subjection to their husbands seems to make this implication. 

     My first question to someone with this viewpoint would be to ask where in the Bible it says wives must obey their husbands even to the point of sinning? Of course, anyone who has read the Bible knows no such command exists. 

     I would also point out that such a command requires wives to consider their husbands to be a higher authority than God (or at least a more primary one). Apparently, husbands receive their instructions directly from God, but wives must go through the mediator of their husbands. Why would this even be necessary unless they believe women are not capable of having the same kind of relationship with God than men can? Does God only speak to men? Where are these ideas to be found in the Bible? 

     Simply put, to place the authority of a husband over the authority of God is nothing less than idolatry. It is to grant to husbands, who are merely human (which Lori admits in her post!), a position that only God should fill: that of ultimate authority. This is no small matter, and yet complementarians either don't understand the problem or refuse to acknowledge it. 


Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/how-do-wives-win-husbands-who-are-believers/