Response to "Heterosexuality is the Foundation of Patriarchy?"

Lori opens this blog with one of her wild claims with no link or reference to prove she didn’t make it up: 

“There’s an article written by a lesbian that states that heterosexuality is the foundation of patriarchy and has kept women subordinate for centuries. Women need to be freed from this bondage and be lesbians!”

Honestly, it’s not impossible that someone somewhere said this. But this is the tactic that exposes the weak positions of people such as Lori: in order to argue against feminism, they must choose the most extreme, fringe representatives of it! This is no different from using the members of Westboro Baptist Church to represent all Christians. 

“God created men to be the leaders in the churches and head over their wives. This is His created order and feminism rebels against this. Feminism teaches women to hate men and that they don’t need men. They only know how to tell lies as their father, the devil, does.”

No, God did not create men to be leaders of anything simply because they’re men. This entire idea is based on a reading of the word “head” in the Bible when referring to husbands as if it were written in English. In our language, “head” is used symbolically to mean “leader” or “boss,” but in Greek it meant something more like “source.” Likely Paul was referring to the fact that in the Genesis creation story, Eve was made from Adam’s rib. There is nothing remotely relating to authority in the portions of the Bible that refer to the husband as the “head” of his wife. 

“Heterosexuality is NOT the foundation of patriarchy. God is, and His ways are good.” 

No. God did not establish patriarchy. In fact, it was God who called patriarchy a curse! Genesis 3:16: “To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." Lori must completely ignore this point in order to maintain her opinion. 

“This doesn’t put women in “subordinate” positions, as feminists would have you believe. It’s God best for you, women!”

“Women being quiet in the churches, as God commands, doesn’t put women in subordinate positions either. God created man first and he is the one God ordained to be in authority positions in the churches and in the homes. It doesn’t mean women are less than, just as an employee is not less than the employer; it’s for order since God is a God of order.”

The passage above is packed with typical complementarian fallacies. First, when women are told to be quiet in the churches (in 1 Tim. 2:12 and 1 Cor. 14:34), this did not mean a total silence, as is evident from the fact that Paul earlier refers to women praying and prophesying in the churches (1 Cor. 11:4-5), as well as the fact that the word used for “quiet” is also used to instruct all Christians in the way they ought to live generally (1 Timothy 2:1-2). 

Second, as I’ve said before, the fact that God created man first in the creation story doesn’t even come close to implying authority for men. If it did, animals would be in authority over man, since they were created before him!

Third, what exactly does the word “subordination” even mean to Lori? How can she simultaneously assert that men are in authority over every aspect of their wives’ lives, and yet women are not “subordinate?” I might as well place a homeless person next to Warren Buffett and claim one isn’t richer than the other.   

The final myth in this paragraph is the comparison to an employer/employee relationship. This is a favorite analogy for complementarians, meant to suggest that those who object to an authority hierarchy in marriage have a problem with all authority generally. But there is no similarity between these two scenarios. An employer is in such a position because of her qualifications and because she earned the position. In a complementarian marriage, there is no consideration of qualification and no need to earn the position. Men simply are in charge because they’re men. An employer has temporary and limited authority over her employees; it only pertains to the scope and duration of the tasks on the job. In a complementarian marriage, the authority is comprehensive over a woman’s entire life, and it never ends. In theory, anyone has the opportunity to become an employer; no one is barred based on who they are. But according to complementarianism, women are barred from certain positions simply because of who they are. 

Lori is desperate to convince us that God established patriarchy, and that it’s for the good of women. But the Bible simply does not support this view. If women are not immature children in need of governing (and I would argue that they’re not!), then the men who attempt to control them “for their own good” are not doing them any favors. It’s time women who have jumped on this bandwagon admit this, or at least trying to convince the rest of us who actually have happy marriages built on equality.  Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/heterosexuality-is-the-foundation-of-patriarchy/