Response to "Men Need Women. Women Need Men."

“Last year, I watched a documentary of two couples who had to live like people did in the 1800s for a year. It was a great show! (I did a blog post about it but I forgot the name of it.) One of the women was a feminist and at one point was so frustrated that she couldn’t do the hard work of tilling the land and all of the work the men had to do but instead had to do the work of cleaning and cooking. She had a difficult time accepting the fact that God gave men and women different jobs to do!”

No, God did not give men and women different jobs to do. Lori cannot produce a single Bible verse to support this opinion of hers, so she needs to stop using God’s name in this way. 

And let’s be honest about the fact that in many cases, men and women today likely would find the level of work required to work the land and care for the home in the 1800s to be overwhelming. This is simply because technology has made us so much more comfortable. This is not only true of women. 

She then adds this weird paragraph written by some guy named John Rice: 

“Man needs the help of a good woman. A home is not a home without a woman…but any woman who runs a business of her own, who meets the world on its own terms, often feels her frailty, often feels the need for stronger hands and shoulders and a bolder brain than her own…In the pioneer home, there was need for strong arms and hands to fell the trees and clear the land and till it. There was needed boldness for protecting the home against the Indians and courage to supply the larder with the wild meat. But in the cottage there was a need for daintier fingers to rock the cradle, to do the sewing and the cooking. And there was need for a tenderer heart, for a woman’s genius and a woman’s devotion and a woman’s loyalty.” 

No one disputes that the average man is larger and stronger than the average woman, but this certainly does not justify the use of the word “frailty” (has this guy ever seen a woman give birth?!?!). By the way, the fact that Lori and those with similar views feel the need to characterize the opposing position as suggesting this shows that their own position lacks much substance. But “a bolder brain?!” Despite what many insecure men (many of whom are big fans of Lori’s blog) want to believe, there is no difference between the intellectual and mental capabilities of men and women. Believe me, a woman taking care of several small children every day requires a FAR bolder brain than a man sitting in a comfortable office all day! 

But there’s something else to notice about the examples in the paragraph above. Fell the trees, clear and till the land, protect against Indians, hunting wild animals...these were necessities for every family in the 1800s! But obviously today it is quite possible to live a successful and comfortable life without doing such things. Why is Lori trying to pretend we still live in colonial times? Why should we adhere to social structures that were made necessary only by a lack of technology, when that necessity is entirely gone? This would be like digging a hole in the ground to go to the bathroom because in the old days they didn’t have flushing toilets! 

Next, she asks the unbiased and diverse women in the chat room what things they need their husbands to do because they are unable. Let’s consider some of the answers: 

“Open Jars.” I know plenty of women who can open tough jars. But even if they can’t, there are rubber tools for such things. 

“Carry heavy things.” Many of the women I know are capable of carrying far heavier things than insecure men would like to admit. 

“Fix things.” Why can’t women fix things? I know a lot of women who are handy. 

“Clean the gutters.” Women can't climb ladders? 

“Move stuff up and down from the attic.” Women can’t climb stairs?

“Make big financial decisions.” Lori would lose her mind if she found out women are on average better investors than men! (see https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelcannivet/2018/12/29/why-women-are-better-at-investing/#3d8aa3696f37)

“Electrical, plumbing, mechanical jobs.” There’s nothing about these types of tasks that women are generally unable to do. 

“Deal with snakes and mice.” Though this is merely anecdotal, many of the women I know like snakes and mice and are not afraid of them at all (despite the stereotype). Certainly this is something women are just as capable of as men. What is it about men that would make them better at setting mousetraps? 

The title of the blog seems to imply mutual dependence, but is it just me, or is this entire blog a portrayal of women being helpless without men? Unfortunately for Lori’s case, no convincing evidence was presented. Marriage is about so much more than having someone around to carry large items and open jars. It’s not for the sake of completing two incomplete people (a harmful, codependent idea).The beauty of marriage is that two people who are complete on their own and don’t have an inherent need for the other nevertheless choose to join their lives together and make something great. 

And it certainly does not help anyone for women to pretend to be helpless in order to stroke the egos of insecure men.


Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/men-need-women-women-need-men/