"The Apostle Paul commanded the “aged women” to teach the “young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5). Then in 1 Timothy 5:14, he commands this of the young widows, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
These two verses are the only ones in the entire Bible that can be used to suggest women should remain in the home. To rebut this idea, I submit the following quote:
“We must remember that we should not build a theology based upon a few verses.”
Source: “Let’s Stop Exalting Singleness”, written by Ken and Lori Alexander!
I wish Lori would stop and consider why exactly the adversary would be given occasion to speak reproachfully if women work outside of the home? If, as she believes, it is God’s eternal command that women keep the home, is she suggesting that “the adversary” is actively upholding God’s command? This makes no sense. Rather, Paul’s concern here is that the Christians follow social customs as much as possible so the people they were trying to reach with the Gospel would not be turned off by behavior they would consider socially subversive.
"When I use this verse in 1 Timothy to encourage young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home, women have angrily responded to me by saying that this verse is only for young widows. Why would Paul’s instructions to young widows be any different than those for all young women? Is it simply a way for women to get out of doing what God asks them to do? Do they use Scripture to manipulate it to say what they want it to say? Is there anywhere in God’s Word that commands women to leave their homes each day and work for a boss? Paul’s instructions to young widows are no different than his instructions to all young women."
It’s the oldest trick in the books: rather than addressing objections directly, simply accuse anyone who disagrees with you of getting out of doing what God “asks them to do.” It is Lori who twists the Bible to say what she wants it to say (by obsessing over a few verses and ignoring all others). Let’s see for ourselves what these verses say:
In 1 Timothy 5, Paul instructs the church to maintain a list of widows over the age of 60 and meeting certain other qualifications. These widows would be eligible for financial support from the church (since, at that time, supporting themselves was not an option as it is now). Paul goes on to discuss widows below the age of 60:
1 Timothy 5:11-14
“As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.”
Notice how Lori leaves out the preceding verses? These are important. Paul’s point was that the church should not be supporting women who are still young enough to get remarried and have a normal life (again, in that culture the women were dependent on either their fathers or their husbands for financial support). He wants to make sure these women are not being idle or mooching off of the church, so he instructs them (in verse 14) to do what was customary in that culture for them to do. But the main idea is who should and should not be included on the list of widows, not the purpose of women for all time.
“We don’t have a problem with “toxic masculinity” in this culture.” We have a problem with toxic feminism. It’s feminism that is toxic and has destroyed biblical womanhood for most women in the churches who have gone the way of the culture. Women are taught to not want to be married. They’re taught to not want children.”
I’m getting tired of Lori and others pretending they don’t understand what “toxic masculinity” means. “Masculinity is not toxic!” they cry, as if the term refers to all men (or anyone who exhibits masculine tendencies). If the term itself offends her, I don’t want to argue about it. Let’s forget labels and simply say that any mindset is harmful that A) asserts the superiority of men, B) excuses men from bad behavior by simply saying “boys will be boys”, C) assumes women are responsible for men’s behavior and expects them to change because of it, and D) discourages men from showing emotion because it’s “not manly.” If we can agree on this, it doesn’t matter what we call it. But why do I have doubts that Lori would even agree on these basic points?
Also, as much as Lori uses the term, there simply is no such thing as “biblical womanhood!” All believers are called to become Christlike, but this does not come in two different varieties depending on gender.
And regarding feminism supposedly being toxic. No, feminism does not “teach” women to not want to marry or want children. It tells them they have the freedom to choose whether they want to do these things. But this is what oppressors must do if they are to gain any followers: in order to force people to do what they want, they must convince people that their opposition wants to force them to do the opposite, while all they really say is that people shouldn’t be forced to do anything in the first place. Sadly, many fall for it.
Finally, her closing paragraph contains the following:
“Most godly young women want more than anything to be married and have children..”
Here is yet another example of the subtle, manipulative language that characterizes the message of those who would subjugate women in the name of God. Lori states (with no evidence as usual) that “most” godly young women want more than anything to be married and have children. The implication is that if you don’t desire this above everything else (including serving God apparently), you must not be godly. Anyone, therefore, who disagrees with Lori must not be godly. Rather than simply trying to be obedient to God and teaching others to do the same (as she claims), Lori is using God to further her own agenda. God has a unique plan and purpose for each one of us, and the Bible is clear (for example in 1 Corinthians 7) that this does not always entail marriage and children. But Lori would have us believe that men’s callings are unique, all women must be exactly the same. Fortunately, God does not agree.
Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/marriage-is-the-ministry-exalted-for-young-women/
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