Response to "True Women's Empowerment."

       Today I thought I would try something different from my usual habit of responding to The Transformed Wife blog, and instead reply to one of her Youtube videos. I don’t generally do this because, compared to her blog, her videos get very few views. But this one seemed particularly ridiculous, and there is also at least one advantage of watching her videos over reading the blog (more on that below). 

       Lori has recently been dealing with a sinus infection and shared that since she hasn’t been feeling well she didn’t feel like doing anything except watch TV (we’ve all been there!). Then she makes the following strange comment: 

“I did watch a few movies on Amazon Prime, that were G rated, that were decent.” 

G rated? What did she watch, Elmo’s World? Is she saying she doesn’t at least occasionally embrace her wild side and check out a *gasp* PG rated movie?!?

       All joking aside, I thought it was odd that she felt the need to clarify for everyone that she only watched clean movies. Normally, if we hear someone say they watched some movies on Amazon Prime, we don’t think anything of it. We certainly don’t immediately assume that they were watching something “filthy”, right? So why the need to make this clear? And then it occurred to me: this is literally the way Lori thinks of others. If she heard someone say they watched a movie, she literally WOULD immediately assume that it was something “filthy.” And because she is so accustomed to being so judgmental of others, she must assume everyone else is the same and had to make sure to clear her name. What a sad, paranoid way to live your life! 

       She then shares her reaction to some of the shows she turned on: 

“On Rachel Ray, they were giving advice to a married couple. And Rachel Ray looked at the guy and said ‘why don’t you pick up food on the way home and cook dinner.’ And the whole audience clapped and cheered and thought that was awesome, even though the wife is home full time.”

What a horrible thing! The thought that occasionally it might be nice for the man to cook dinner! 

“...and Maria Shriver was talking all about women’s empowerment. Women’s empowerment this, women’s empowerment that. Equal pay. You know, we can do what we’re doing right now on this TV show because of the women before us.”

Her condescending and sarcastic tone as she says this is not appreciated. And how ungrateful of her to be so critical of the women who fought for rights Lori herself enjoys, whether she realizes or is grateful for it or not. 

“What is the women’s empowerment that they’re spouting? It’s not for women to be content at home, loving their husbands, serving their husbands, bearing more children, raising them up in the Lord and to be good citizens. No, that’s not women’s empowerment to them at all. Women’s empowerment to them is to have a career and to make money. That’s it. To be able to do things that men do.”

As if it weren’t clear before, this is definitive proof that Lori doesn’t even understand what “empowerment” means. In her mind, there are only two possibilities: confinement to being at home, or confinement to having a career. She happens to prefer being at home, and so tries to impose this on other women. But she doesn’t think of it as oppression because she isn’t capable of imagining a scenario in which women simply aren’t oppressed in the first place! 

       Needless to say, empowerment is all about freedom and choices. For so long women were excluded from certain roles and activities, and now those opportunities are open to them. They don’t have to take them if they don’t want to (such as in Lori’s case). 

       And once again she includes her typical claim that women who have careers are doing “what men do.” This is no different from saying that slaves in the 1800s who wanted to own property just wanted to do “what white people do.” No, women who want the freedom to choose a career are not trying to be men; they are trying to be fully human, something Lori and those who share her beliefs try to deny them. 

       Next, she criticizes shows such as The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie for...make sure you’re sitting down for this one...for pushing a feminist agenda! I'm not even sure what else could be said about that. 

“In the churches, you don’t hear them teaching young women the value of being wives and mothers and raising your children, staying home full time, that your worth and value doesn’t come from career or money ...In fact, I’ve been forbidden from teaching some of  that in the churches close to me.”

An interesting point can be made here. Lori is against telling women their value and worth come from a career or money (and I agree!), but she then turns around and implies that womens’ worth and value comes from being wives and mothers, raising children, and staying home full time. This is no better! I suggest the value of every person is derived from who they are, their unique identity, and who their Creator made them to be. In her mind, a woman’s value ultimately derives from how well she is able to serve a man. 

       Next, she tells about a woman she saw one day: 

“...a women that looked completely like a Jezebel. Tons of makeup, fake hair, tons of jewelry, immodest clothing. And I was just like “YUCK!” This is what our young women, daughters, are being raised up with.”

Notice there is nothing in her rude and shallow description that has anything to do with the woman’s character or personality? She has judged her entirely based on her appearance. Could this be more unChristlike? 1 Samuel 16:7: 7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”

I would like to close by commenting on the additional insight provided by watching a video of Lori’s rather than reading her blog: we get a chance to see and analyze Lori herself. It’s harder to hide things about yourself in a video than it is in a blog. If you haven’t seen the video already, I’d like to suggest you first listen to a little bit of it without looking at the screen. This will work best if you listen to the final few minutes during which she talks about things that ought to make her happy (such as being surrounded by family). As you do, imagine in your head what her face must look like as she’s talking. Then, go back and actually watch it. My guess is that, like me, you’ll imagine her with varying expressions, smiles sprinkled here and there, and at least a hint of joy in her eyes. But there’s nothing. There’s no hint of anything in her eyes. Besides a forced smile at the beginning and end, she is almost completely blank through the entire video, even when discussing happy things. To be honest, it has a very weird feel, almost as if I’m watching a video of a hostage reading a prepared statement of their guilt. 

But, sadly, it’s no surprise. She tries to convince us that she has a wonderful life and if we just do things God’s- I mean Lori’s- way, we can have the same joy and peace. But I can’t imagine how she expects to convince anyone of that while she looks so defeated, depressed, and hopeless. I actually feel pity for her. Somehow, she has come to the conclusion that the subjugation of women is required by God, and she is so deeply convinced that she refuses to change her mind no matter how damaging it is. The effects are clearly showing. And yet, her only source of consolation is trying to convince other women to do the same. She can’t handle the thought that all this could be for nothing and other women may actually be happier than she is, so in order to maintain the illusion she must try to set other women “free.” If you’re truly miserable, it’s impossible to hide it in a video, no matter how hard you try. But it actually seems like Lori isn’t even trying. 



Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_9Q-mj2bhc