Response to "Feminism has Demeaned and Trivialized Women's Traditional Work."

       In her typical blunt fashion, Lori begins this blog with the following: 

 Many women falsely believe that if they serve their husbands, they are doormats. One woman wrote me recently and told me that she has never picked up after her husband because she didn’t want to be a “doormat.” She has equated serving her husband with being a doormat.

As usual, there is a lot of nuance (to which Lori is blind) that must be addressed. I agree, serving your spouse does not necessarily make you a doormat. Sometimes my wife picks up after me, and sometimes I pick up after her. Sometimes I wash her dirty dishes, sometimes she washes mine. The problem, of course, is when such service is one-sided, or when the willingness of one to clean up is taken advantage of by the other. I can't help but recall Lori's blog, "Dealing with a Messy Husband", in which she made the nonsensical claim that cleaning up is a "woman's job", as if somewhere God decreed in the Bible who should be doing the housework (hint: He didn't!). If a husband consistently leaves a mess and expects his wife to clean it up because he thinks that's what she's there for, then yes, "doormat" might be an accurate description. Spouses can serve each other, but neither should treat the other like a servant. There's a difference. 

       Lori follows this up with a comment on her Instagram page: 

“Women think they are being a ‘doormat’ for doing domestic tasks because for the last half a century, feminism has consistently demeaned and trivialized women’s traditional work to the point where many women won’t even consider it and even turn their noses up at it. I personally think that women need to reclaim this very important work of caring and nurturing and that if we did, over time the family unit could be restored, divorce and abortion would decline, and God would be restored as the center of the family.”

Needless to say, there is a major logical disconnect. But this type of reasoning is all too common among those who stubbornly cling to such wacky views on relationships. To say that it is not entirely a woman's job to cook and clean, for example, does not in any way put down cooking and cleaning! Both are very important. In fact, they are so important, both men and women should be able to do them! Such a strawman argument might as well be a flashing sign that says "I have no good support for what I'm saying!" 

Women, we were created to be their husband’s help meet! They were created to pick up after him and serve him; make his life easier.

Once again, we witness Lori's terrible biblical understanding. The Bible never comes close to suggesting that wives were created to pick up after their husband and "make his life easier." In Genesis 2, when God says He will make a "help meet" for the man, the Hebrew word was "ezer," which did not mean anything like "servant." The word was used most often in the Old Testament to refer to God Himself as He repeatedly came to the rescue of Israel. By calling the woman a help meet, the author of Genesis is conveying her equality to the man. She was to come alongside him as his partner so they could fulfill their mission in life together. The idea of hierarchy in this story is completely made up. 

 I have never once heard a man complain that he was a doormat because he had to go to work every day and work hard for his family, yet women often complain. 

Yes, if a husband lives the life Lori thinks every man deserves based on nothing but his gender, going to work and then clocking out and relaxing all evening without having to even pick up after himself, while his wife deals with all cooking, cleaning, and childcare (which is a 24 hour job), I don't think it's much of a mystery if he doesn't complain about that arrangement. 

 They seem to have more of a predisposition to complain and be unhappy. It’s probably why divorces are initiated by women up to 80 percent of the time. Women contemplate their “feelings” more than men and if they’re not happy in their marriage, they want to do something about it and it usually doesn’t involve changing themselves but their circumstances instead.

More of Lori's nonsense, unsupported, bitter claims. Perhaps Lori has a predisposition to be unhappy and complain, and therefore assumes all women must be just like her? She loves to quote her statistic about women initiating 80 percent of divorces, conveniently ignoring the fact that who initiated a divorce tells us nothing about why a divorce took place. Each situation is different, and we have no idea how many of those divorces are justified. Lori just assumes they're all because women are "unhappy." How convenient and lazy. And regarding women supposedly contemplating their feelings more than men, I suggest Lori spend more time reading the comments of her devoted fanboys; she will see far more feelings and emotion than she's prepared for! 

God tells us that the greatest of all is the servant of all. As we serve our husbands, we are serving Christ. When we pick up after them, we are picking up after Christ. Whatever we do, we are to do heartily as unto the Lord. The Apostle Paul wrote: “For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself a servant unto all, that I might gain the more” (1 Corinthians 9:19).

Great! Did she notice Paul is a man? And yet, despite this fact, he had no delusions of the right to rule over others, but made himself a servant? Indeed, it is a wonderful thing for all of us to serve others. But Lori only believes this applies to women. I don't remember Jesus telling only His women disciples to serve others. And if Lori did admit that men must serve their wives as well, I suspect the "service" she would have in mind is barking orders and making decisions on their behalf as if they were children. 

       So, no, feminism has not demeaned and trivialized such things as cooking, cleaning, and keeping the home. If Lori would actually listen to people who disagree with her, she would find that many women who believe they deserve equality with men also love baking and other "feminine" activities. I believe it is more demeaning to these tasks to try to force women to do them exclusively. If that role is so wonderful and natural to women, they wouldn't have to be forced. These things are necessary for every household, and each family is free to determine for themselves how they split up tasks. Lori trivializes the desires of God by thinking what He is most concerned about is who does the dishes and laundry. 

Link to the original blog: https://thetransformedwife.com/feminism-has-demeaned-and-trivialized-womens-traditional-work/